Down the Rabbit Hole

Posted on January 27, 2010

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Weight loss is an all consuming process: that extra minute of cardio, extra rep, one less calorie all matter in when you’re battling the bulge. But on weigh-in day, the effort is worth it! If you’ve stayed at least 80% on plan, you can expect to see a loss. Even a 1/2 lb loss results in a swell of pride and motivates you to move forward.

Weight loss. . . it’s a game of math. This past weigh-in I finally accepted that my body math is off and my motivation is waning.

According to Sparkpeople, I burned 2477 fitness calories. I averaged 1537 calories for a net calorie loss of 2340. While I may not have expected to lose a pound I certainly did not expect to gain the exact amount that I lost the prior week: 1.8 lbs.

I cried. The positive attitude seeped out of me and I cried.

The weight loss from the previous week had buoyed me. If I just worked harder, I would see results. Even if that meant 60+ minutes daily. Well that’s just not the case and I was so angry. I’ve lost a net of 2 lbs since October.

I wanted to give up. For a minute I did.

Then I hopped on the internet and called several doctors in my area trying to establish a primary care physician (I’ve been trying since December). I finally found one and had the appointment this morning. That’s a whole other story but I can say I was surprised when my physician offered me a prescription grade appetite suppressant without taking a diet or exercise history first. I asked if perhaps we could run some tests to determine if anything is okay before moving to drugs. Fortunately, this was a fill-in doc. I’m heading in tomorrow morning for blood tests.

The past few days have been painful and it’s embarrassing to publish yet another weight gain but it’s a learning process. I’m still down the rabbit hole but I’m starting to climb back up.

Decide. Commit. Succeed.

– Kareen, RD

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